Hypnosis consultations for Self-Esteem
There are people who succeed at everything and do not like themselves.
Respected professionals, devoted parents, precious friends who, deep down, are convinced they are not worth much.
That is the paradox of self-esteem: it is not calculated from results. You can pile up achievements without ever changing the verdict you pass on yourself.
Our practitioners work with you across Quebec, in person or online.
Self-Esteem or Self-Confidence?
The founding distinction
- Self-confidence is about what I believe I CAN DO: my abilities in a given area. It is situational, and it is built through experience — see our Self-Confidence page.
- Self-esteem is about what I believe I AM WORTH: the overall judgement on my person, regardless of my performance. Deeper, older, it does not move when the results come in. Which is why brilliant people can put themselves down permanently.
The practical consequence matters: when self-esteem is the root, working only on confidence amounts to adding achievements to a leaking basket.
The first conversation together is there to identify which floor is involved.
How Self-Esteem is built
Self-esteem is not innate: it is built, mainly in childhood and adolescence, through the eyes of others, parents, teachers, classmates.
A child first sees themselves in the eyes of the people around them, and draws lasting conclusions about their worth.
Several configurations leave a mark:
- Love experienced as conditional ("I am loved when I succeed, when I behave, when I am no trouble").
- Repeated criticism, even well meant ("you can do better", heard a thousand times, becomes "I am never enough").
- Comparisons with a brother, a sister, a classmate.
- School humiliations, and bullying in particular, whose effects on self-image often last for decades.
- In adulthood, other events erode it: a belittling relationship, a layoff, a break-up…
A culture that does not always help
One local reality is worth naming without caricaturing it: modesty is prized in Quebec, and putting yourself forward is easily read as showing off.
It is a fine collective quality, but it has a downside for anyone whose self-esteem is already fragile: acknowledging your achievements, naming them, claiming them becomes socially uncomfortable, so the inventory of your strengths never gets done.
Our work will not ask you to become boastful. It is simply about being able to acknowledge inwardly what you are worth, which requires no outward display at all.
Understanding low Self-Esteem
The four faces of fragile self-esteem
- The permanent inner critic. A voice that judges and belittles without stopping, with a harshness you would never use towards anyone else. The test is telling: would you speak that way to your best friend?
- Conditional self-esteem. "I am worth something if I succeed, if I am liked, if I am useful." Worth is never settled, it has to be earned back every day. Hence the exhaustion, and the out-of-proportion collapse at the slightest failure, since failure does not say "I got it wrong" but "I am worthless".
- Perfectionism and the fear of disappointing. If worth depends on results, no mistake is allowed. That is not high standards, it is a costly and endless protection.
- Comparison. Measuring yourself against others with a systematic bias, comparing your inside (your doubts) with their outside (their front, their social media). The result is decided in advance.
Relational consequences often come with it:
Accepting what does not suit you, not daring to ask, tolerating belittling relationships (see our Shyness & assertiveness page), or a difficult relationship with your body, see our Eating & Weight page.
What Hypnosis offers for strengthening Self-Esteem
What hypnosis does, in practice
One clarification first: self-esteem is not repaired by positive affirmations in front of a mirror. Telling yourself "I am wonderful" when you are convinced of the opposite does not work, because the inner critic rejects the information.
Hypnosis works differently, at the place where the conviction settled in.
- Defusing the founding scenes. Those moments when the verdict was written are revisited safely and at a distance, never relived. We do not rewrite the past: we take away its authority over the present.
- Sorting out what actually belongs to you. Many convictions about yourself are in fact somebody else's words, taken on without examination in childhood. Identifying them lets you hand them back to their owner.
- Softening the inner critic. Not silencing it, but changing its status: from a voice that states the truth to a background noise you hear without obeying.
- Uncoupling worth from performance. This is the heart of the work: a failure becomes an event, not a verdict. Which, paradoxically, improves performance, since the stakes stop being vital.
- Learning to receive again. Taking in a compliment instead of defusing it, accepting help, resting without having "earned" it.
How long it takes, honestly
Self-esteem is the deepest piece of work we support.
It has been crumbling for years, it is not rebuilt in two sessions, and anyone promising an express transformation is being dishonest. Plan on six to ten sessions as a rule, sometimes more, with noticeable changes well before the end, often in the small things: daring to say no, taking a criticism without collapsing, receiving a compliment without contradicting it.
Where our support stops
Fragile self-esteem is a widespread difficulty, and not necessarily a matter for care.
But see a doctor or a psychologist if: the self-criticism comes with a lasting low mood, a loss of drive, disrupted nights or appetite, or if the distress is significant. Info-Santé 811 can point you in the right direction at any hour.
What our clients say
« Nuria is such an experienced coach that I deeply feel grateful for. She has helped me discover a better self and gain more confidence. Thank you! »
Cindy, client of Nuria Perez de Leon
« It was quite an experience, one worth repeating, to improve my self-esteem and learn to love myself »
Yannick
Consult a Hypnotherapist for Self-Esteem near you
In Office or Online Across Canada
Offices in Montreal, Gatineau, Sherbrooke, Montérégie…
And if you live far away or elsewhere in the world, online sessions work very well. Evening slots available.
All areas
Annie Mayrand
Gatineau - Cumberland (ON)
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Christian Rocher
Beloeil
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David Veilleux
Montréal - Anjou
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Florence Aton
Sutton
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Jessica Reid
Sherbrooke
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Julie Rocque
Montréal - Jean-Talon
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Nuria Pérez de León
Montréal - Rosemont - Saint-Lambert
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Romain Rastoin
Bromont
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Réjeanne LeBlanc
La Prairie
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Frequently asked questions about hypnosis for self-esteem
Confidence is about what I believe I can do: situational, it is built through experience. Self-esteem is about what I believe I am worth: global, old, it does not move when the results come in. That is why brilliant people can put themselves down permanently: their basket has a hole in it. Identifying the right floor is the first thing we do.
Rarely, and there is a reason: repeating "I am wonderful" when you are convinced of the opposite immediately triggers the inner critic's contradiction. The exercise can even strengthen the sense of being a fraud. We work upstream, where the conviction settled in.
Yes, self-esteem was learned, so it can be reworked, at any age. Its age makes the work longer, not impossible. Many people start in their fifties, often at a turning point (children leaving, a break-up, retirement approaching), and discover that the verdict they were passing on themselves dated from when they were twelve.
Six to ten as a rule, sometimes more. It is the deepest work we support, and nobody honest will promise you two sessions. The first changes do show up well before the end, though, in the small things of daily life.
Yes, it is a frequent reason for coming and the effects of bullying on self-image often last for decades: you are not exaggerating. The work takes away those scenes' authority over the present, and separates what others said about you from who you are. If these memories are invasive, trained professionals come first: we will point you to them.
It depends on your group plan: receipts are issued (counselling, naturotherapy or hypnotherapy depending on the affiliation), but not every insurer accepts them. Check your policy, and look at your employee assistance programme, which is often free and confidential.
We are neither doctors, psychologists, nor psychotherapists. Our services are rooted in helping relationships and well-being: they constitute neither a diagnosis, nor treatment, nor psychotherapy (a regulated act in Quebec), and they replace no medical or psychological care. If the distress is significant, see a professional: Info-Santé 811. In case of distress: 1 866 APPELLE (1 866 277-3553) or suicide.ca.
Page written by Annie Mayrand
hypnotherapist and NLP coach
partner at Solutions Hypnose.
English version reviewed by David Veilleux
Published .